Jeremy Taylor - Question 2

       I think rule four is easiest for me: “Nurture a love to do good things in secret, concealed from the eyes of others, and therefore not highly esteemed because of them.”  I have never liked for any “good thing” I’ve done to be publicized.  I always felt like attention was wrongly directed to me.  It didn’t make sense to me when I knew the true reason and Motivator of my good work.  So I like to do things quietly, in secret.  There is something special about getting to share that with the only One whose eyes see me.  And I guess this way it doesn’t run the risk of my works being in vain.

Rule fourteen is hard for me a lot of times: “Be content when you see or hear that others are doing well in their jobs and with their income, even when you are not…be content when someone else’s work is approved and yours is rejected.”  I am very much accustomed to success.  I generally do pretty well at most things I do.  And I absolutely hate failure.  I hate the idea of doing something the wrong way or messing up.  So if someone is doing well in a certain area and I’m not, it is hard for me to be content.  It’s not that I’m not happy for them; I’m just not content that they are in that position and I’m not.  I have had to learn the lesson of living in grace so many times, and I’m still learning more about it. 

Jeremy Taylor - Question 1

       Thinking back, I cannot recall a particular time that I was ever completely ashamed of any of these areas in my life.  Concerning birth, I was born into a wonderful family – hardworking, brilliant, interesting, talented – a family I was always proud of (on both sides).  In terms of economic position, the Lord has always chosen to bless me so immensely.  Rarely have I been worried that I or my family would go without the money we needed.  My father is paid well, my mother works long and hard to earn what she does, and I’ve never had trouble with finding a steady job (a pharmacist’s assistant, nanny, camp counselor, volleyball coach, puppy caretaker...none carry a “lowly” status for a highschooler/university student to be ashamed of).  I’ve been blessed with a “head start” of sorts, if you will.  I realize that, and I am grateful for the encouragement.

In Taylor’s writing he also mentions not to be ashamed of your parents.  This may be the one area that I have struggled with.  In my lifetime both of my parents, especially my father, have done very ugly things – things I despise, things I hate, things that are unacceptable on so many levels.  I used to be so ashamed.  My family was supposed to be “Christian”…strong in faith, always involved at church, doing the right things.  When that fell apart, I thought it had a claim on me as well.  I believed it meant that something was wrong with me too, and so I didn’t talk about it.  I hid it as much as possible and avoided it at all costs.  It was prideful.  I couldn’t humble myself and be open to others about it and be vulnerable in that way.  I didn’t possess that “indifference to how others will regard you.”

      Since then, I have learned a lot.  I have come to understand the truth about these circumstances in my life, and how they have helped me grow into a better person rather than hinder me – all by the grace and power of God.  I am now more able to “speak readily” about these things rather than be ashamed.

Madame Guyon

“So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day.”

                Recently the Lord has been teaching me so much about developing the simultaneity of my spiritual life and my everyday life.  The quoted verse above captures this concept so well as does the rest of Psalm 61.

                I really enjoyed this practice of slowly reading and grasping the heart behind scripture.  As I applied it to Psalm 61 I found the Spirit speaking so strongly to me about my current circumstances, and the words of the passage became the words I wanted to express to the Lord.

                Verse 1 implies this is a cry to God, connoting desperation and pleading for him to hear what is so urgent to me.  In a place that felt so remote from his presence and hung hopelessness over my faint head, I asked him to help me rise above it all – to lead me to a place of stability and strength that is higher (verse 2).  He has been my safety and security in the past, another elevated stronghold (“strong tower”) against whatever is against me (verse 3).

                I just want to be where you are, Lord!  Please just let me stay; I don’t want to lose where I am when I am near you!  I come to you humbly, asking that you would cover me wholly with the protection of your wings – that you would guard my heart in this way (verse 4).  You know that that is what I want, for you know all the vows, or commitments, that I have made and all the responsibilities that those hold.  You have given me a heritage to continue, one of fearing your name.  Therefore, I need your presence and protection (verse 5).

                The psalmist prayed for the fidelity of the king, the one who represented the people and the community.  If the king was well, so was the kingdom.  Lord, I ask these things not solely for my sake, but for my community!  Whoever you appoint to lead it or minister to it in any way, whether it is myself or another, bless the ministry!  May it always be of you, through you, by you, or for you.  But again, the careful watch of your steadfast love and faithfulness is so desperately needed (verses 6-7).

                “So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day” (verse 8).  The reality is I have so many commitments (vows) – so many things that fill my schedule and keep me busy.  I was struggling to rise above the mess of my schedule, to see the Lord in everything and to do all for him.  I was separating my spiritual life from my practical, everyday life and in turn I couldn’t find enough time for the spiritual.  I knew that was not what God intended.  I knew there was something more to this. 

                The Lord showed me the beauty of simultaneity…the meshing of my spiritual and everyday lives.  Even as I go about each of my daily commitments – class, meetings, work, church, etc. – I can seek him for strength (with a prayer like Psalm 61) and gratefully sing praises to his name and lift up new songs to him.  That is the word living in me which, God-willing, will affect the community around me as well. 

E. Stanley Jones

              Today conversion is normally understood as a one-time event – a moment in which you make a decision to agree with certain statements of faith and then recite a certain prayer.  Popular religion projects this image of conversion that is shallow and does not penetrate the depths of the soul.  Jones suggests a much more biblical understanding of conversion, one that pushes us to a total experience of discipleship that affects every sphere of our living.

Not only do we receive or obtain the gift from God, but we respond by truly living and building up.  As Jones puts it, “We trust as if the whole thing depended on God and work as if the whole thing depended on us.”  The idea is “receptivity from God and response in work from us.”

Jones believes that a response from us requires certain disciplines to continue attaining our conversion after we have obtained it.  He turns to the biblical example of Jesus and the three foundational habits he exhibited: reading the Word of God, praying in private, and teaching others what we have gathered.  If a convert is not consistently participating in these activities, he or she is not enlarging “the area of [their] conversion, taking in fresh territory every day.”

Thomas Kelly

               Thomas Kelly writes much about an unceasing, inward orientation of the soul.  He believes that such a turning of our souls to the Lord is important because it brings everything in the world into a new light – the Light – and gives a new perspective.  It allows us to “rejudge,”  “recreate,” and respond in “spontaneous, incisive, and simple ways of love and faith.”
              Kelly’s approach is all about inward worship – “quiet, persistent practice in turning all of our being, day and night, in prayer and inward worship and surrender, toward him who calls in the deeps of our souls.”  This will require the development of certain habits.
              “In the early weeks we begin with simple, whispered words…repeat them inwardly, over and over again…longer discipline in this inward prayer will establish more enduring upreachings of praise and submission and relaxed listening in the depths…” 
                And if we lapse, simply breathe a prayer for forgiveness and start again right from where you are; ever return quietly.  As this discipline of inward orientation improves, there develops a meshing and a simultaneity of the outer things and the Inner Light – not just an alternation…”worship undergirding every moment, living prayer, the continuous current and background of all moments of life.” 
              It fuses the inner with the outer, internal spirituality with external application.  It transforms us from the inside out, that all may see him and receive a glimpse of true life and be drawn to it.

William Law

                According to William Law, our faith should have influence in every area of our lives.  The combination of spiritual life with daily life is key.  We cannot simply offer up prayers wholly to God without offering our whole lives up to him as well, and vice versa.  Both are absurd.  Law speaks of what it looks like to be seriously devoted to Christ in all that we do.  To Law, it means being devoted to Christ wholly – not just in occasional prayers.
                I personally have experienced the transforming power of Christ in my whole life as I have given it up wholly to him.  Yes, there are moments when I forget and I still hold on to things that I want or that I can’t seem to let go.  I forget the refuge that the Lord is and I hold back certain parts of my heart (Ps. 62:8). Sometimes these moments last longer than I would like.  But Jesus is faithful to remind me how important it is to fuse everything about myself, my heart, my daily life, daily thoughts and daily actions with my faith and my prayers to him.  And it is in those beautiful moments of devout holiness that my faith influences every area of my life and more people see more of Christ (Heb. 12:14).