Richard Rolle

                First and foremost, it is possible for an individual who is actively engaged in vocational ministry to be struggling to maintain an intimate relationship with the Lord because he/she is an imperfect being who sins.  It is important to understand we all do this, and can receive grace from the Lord. 
                Rolle highlights the idea that those who are devoted to the Lord begin to struggle with their spiritual walks as they begin to love the things of the world – “physical need and strong human affection obtrude into this warmth, to disturb and quench this flame.”  For a minister, this may look like getting caught up in mindless ministry work, or becoming obsessed with issues that honestly don’t matter.  It happens because priorities get mixed up and the things that the world values become what we value.  Soon we are just a person who knows a lot about God, not one who actually knows him.  We must seek “rather to love God than to amass knowledge.”  After all, “he is not known by argument but by what we do and how we love.”
              This situation is dangerous for a minister.  It is not that the cheering warmth that comes from God’s love and our devotion has been taken from him/her, but it is momentarily absent.  The minister may find his/herself frozen in their walk, unable to grow and therefore barren because they are “missing what [they] have become accustomed to.” 
                This will greatly affect the minister’s family.  When one’s relationship with the Lord is off, all other relationships will be affected as well.  The minister is not in a position to lead the family or pour into them as he/she should.  A lot of potential is lost.
                The minister’s congregation or ministry also suffers.  It is hard to organize or oversee a ministry when you yourself do not feel put together.  The possibility of being viewed as a hypocrite runs the risk of destroying trust between the minister and his/her ministry. 
                To avoid such situations, Rolle suggests that we must “be wholly turned from every earthly thing.”  Be concerned with the things of the Lord, not the things of the world.  Rolle puts it best: “To achieve this, however, they must, first, fly from every worldly honor; they must hate all vainglory and the parade of knowledge.  And then, conditioned by great poverty, through prayer and meditation they can devote themselves to the love of God.”  We must be ministers who pray for such hearts, attitudes, mindsets, and lifestyles.  It is only in the Lord that we can find that kind of transforming power.

Division and Politics in the Church

               There absolutely has to be a point at which you draw the line between cooperation and division in order to protect important doctrines and ministry practices.  There is a balance as well, though.  Humility and respect for others is needed; these characteristics allow one to more easily accept minor differences in beliefs without unnecessary conflict.  However, if a personal belief of a coworker in ministry stands in the way of what the ministry stands for or strives to implement, that is obviously unacceptable. 
                If I have an agenda that I believe is biblically important, I want to do what I can to persuade and convince others to understand what the Spirit has convicted me of, not manipulate others into following.  Politics have such a negative connotation because it’s an area so full of conniving, cunning, deceitful, and manipulative people who will go to ridiculous lengths to promote themselves.  I think there is a purer form of politics to take part in within the church.  This could include “campaigning” if you will – finding creative ways to help others understand your vision so that they might support you. 
              The bottom line is that nothing should be forced.  Our job is to stand for what the Spirit convicts us of and leave the rest up to him.  We should never take matters into our own hands.  Simply be open to what the Lord wants you to do in each situation – there’s a good chance that he will ask you to respond with love, humility, respect, and gentleness, but still with enough sternness to express a bold passion and commitment.  If we will remain faithfully obedient to him rather than assuming there is something we can do about it, he will bless that and take care of the rest.
                I’m not sure if anything I just wrote makes much sense to anyone else, but I know that’s how I feel about it and what I’ve gathered from past instances in church life.

Baptist History Reflection

               In 1612, Thomas Helwys returned from Amsterdam and planted the first Baptist church in England.  It was here that the first document in English was written that argued for full religious freedom for all individuals.  This is a belief that Baptists have long stood by and is still very important to emphasize today.  Religion/spirituality should not be forced upon anyone.  The ability to show love instead of force it and to be inviting in that way requires much humility and respect for others.  Even if people do not agree with us as Baptists, they must make their own decisions and we are to respect them and love them through it all.  What kind of a relationship is a forced one, anyway?  God wants us to choose him.  We want others to choose him also.
              The first national Baptist convention was the Triennial Convention which was formed in the early 18th century solely to help with international missions.  Basically, the primary driving force for organization in Baptist life has been the cause of missions.  Johann Gerhard Oncken explained it once as “every Baptist, a missionary.”  Such an emphasis on missions is just as important today.  If, as Baptists, we truly believe what we say we believe, then it is inevitable that we highlight the cause of missions.  Each person has the ability to accept the Lord as their own personal Savior, and so we must go tell each person about him!  It has been our focus for years and should continue to be our focus in a world with numerous unreached peoples.

George Buttrick

                In my own personal prayer life, I am more likely to be too formless.  I often spend my time conversing and convening with the Lord over coffee, sitting on my bed, having casual conversation about my day or asking him questions.  However, it is during some of those times that I have experienced his overwhelming greatness in the most magnified ways.  But, if I let it become too routine, it often loses its significance.  I’ll sit down on my bed with journal and Bible in hand only to say a quick prayer and become distracted by something else.  As I actually talk with him, conversation may become so casual that I get sidetracked and aimlessly talk and think about other, less pertinent things.  These things may not happen often, but they do happen and I would certainly hate for them to become habit.
              As I think about how to avoid informality, I am considering the idea of physical position.  There is something so formless about reclining on some pillows, occasionally sipping coffee from a mug, just chatting away.  What if during my personal prayer time I spent at least a portion of it on my knees before a Holy God?  Yes, this is something that I practice, but not often enough.  It serves as a physical, practical reminder that He is so deserving of respect, honor and glory…and I am not.  Who am I to have a casual conversation with him?  Sometimes I could use some reminding of my place.  As I begin this action, it would help develop many other aspects of my prayer life because it brings on a different sort of attitude altogether – one of humility, reverence, and recognition of an Almighty God.

Sadhu Sundar Singh

              In general, whenever I have a decent amount of down time I hope to not waste it on stupid things – things like facebook or spending too much time getting ready or watching pointless tv shows – but rather spend that time being productive, even if it is just a little productive...because I know that pleases the Lord much more so than being lazy or being a busybody.  I’m usually pretty good about that, but sometimes I find myself getting caught up in it.  I guess it comes down to something Sundar said: “We ought to make the best possible use of God-given opportunities and should not waste our precious time by neglect or carelessness.  Many people say: there is plenty of time to do this or that; don’t worry.  But they do not realize that if they do not make good use of this short time, the habit formed now will be so ingrained that when more time is given to us, this habit will become our second nature and we shall waste that time also.”  I do not want to form a habit of lazy procrastination!  It’s about practicing good time management with the little time I have now, because trust me, I only have a little bit of down time!
                So how do I begin a good habit of managing my time well and using it effectively?  I think I should just start asking myself questions like “what can I do to please the Lord with the down time I have for the next hour?”  Kind of an unusual thing to start doing, but I like the idea of not using every waking moment I have to please myself and do what I want.  Because that’s just ridiculous.  But that’s what most of us do anyway…
                More specifically, when it comes to schoolwork I wish I managed my time so much more wisely!  It’s not like I don’t know how, I just don’t do it – again, because I want to do what I want to do on my own time.  I often think that maybe I should start on an assignment (at least start on it) the day I receive it, instead of thinking “there is plenty of time to do this or that; don’t worry.”  I feel like it would help me get a head start, and when it comes down to the due date I won’t be as rushed, won’t stay up as late, etc. – a much more effective use of my time.
                The problem with all this is being motivated to actually do all these things.  It’s a discipline, for sure.  It’s really a spiritual discipline – denying yourself and what you want to do in order to do what pleases the Lord…being a good steward of the time God gives you on this earth.  And I suppose that’s where we are to look for everything we need – the Lord!  He will be the source of my motivation and willpower to actually implement some of these things.  Because ultimately I’m doing it all for him anyway…Col. 3:23.  Interesting way to think about my time…

Jonathan Edwards

               I have to admit – I had a bit of trouble fully grasping the concepts in Jonathan Edwards’ writing, but I think I can still reflect accordingly. My spiritual passion for Christ affects absolutely everything I do. Obviously that includes my studies here at ETBU. I constantly refer to Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” I do not work at my studies for myself, my parents, my professors, or anyone else. It is completely for the Lord, so that he can use me and my education however he wills. Viewing it as working for the Lord gives my studies so much more purpose and motivation. I strive to fulfill my potential, to be the best I can in every area of life because it pleases the Lord, and that is what I passionately desire to do.
               At the same time, my studies have a similar effect on my walk with Christ. As I learn and grow in intellectual areas, wisdom and knowledge abound. I am pushed to seek the Lord more effectively. I become filled with new ideas, thoughts, lessons…and I want more! I want to know what the Lord thinks about those things. I become curious to find out how he will use the lesson I learned in class the other day to shape me or even the message from the speaker in chapel. I become passionate about understanding the things of the Lord in relation to what I am studying. It truly helps develop a spiritual passion for Christ within me as all these things slowly form my belief system and enlighten me to what God has for me to do in his kingdom. It’s cool to see how God absolutely uses our intellectual pursuits to prepare us for his work and to give us passion and desire for him. 

Henri J. M. Nouwen

I really enjoyed this particular experience of solitude, although I encountered some challenges that Henri Nouwen mentioned in his writing. As I began my period of solitary prayer, I felt bombarded by a lot of inner chaos. I realized that for about the past week I have been neglecting a decently active prayer life. As a result, my thoughts and feelings were much more cluttered, disorganized, and unattended to.  Worries and anxieties of mine clouded my mind. It was hard to seek the Lord in the midst of those things, to tell those distractions that they were not welcome. But then, in my solitude – the place where I am finally in the right position to give things up to the Lord, I understood something else that Nouwen wrote about. The struggling I encountered in my solitude became the way to hope, “because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God’s healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings.” There was such an overwhelming feeling of peace and relief. This is something I have absolutely experienced with the Lord before, but when you don’t consistently talk to him about your issues and the things that consume your mind, you lose sight of that. Becoming in touch with the hopeful presence of God in the midst of chaos in my life prepared me so well for worship. I could actually focus on him and simply lifting his name higher. I prayed these things over the rest of the congregation as well. It was so much easier to sense the Spirit there, to see what he was doing, and to understand how to be a part of it. I enjoyed this practice of solitude before worship, and will probably continue a variation of it before times of worship in the future (as well as in my own personal prayer life)!

John of the Cross

In my personal life right now, I feel most in need of strength.  John of the Cross wrote of many things with which I am all too familiar.  These include becoming very angry because I am called to do what my flesh doesn’t believe I need, losing interest in God because I measure him according to my circumstances and not vice versa, and abandoning certain spiritual exercises because no spiritual consolation is yielded.  Interestingly enough, each of these things only applied to one area of my life: my family. 

In every other area of my life I would fully proclaim God’s power, strength, and ability to do anything.  When it came to my family though, I felt completely overwhelmed, defeated, and discouraged.  I would completely underestimate the Lord and his omnipotence.  I practically gave up on continually praying for my family, being loving towards them, or seeking any kind of reconciliation. 

A lot had happened…lots of pain, hurt, and suffering.  Relationships were essentially mangled and just left for dead.  There was bitterness, resentment, hatred, and anger almost everywhere I turned while at home.  It was near impossible to have hope, and so I gave up; just pushed it all aside and ignored it. 

Well, of course God wasn’t going to sit around and let that happen.  He intended for all of it to make me grow, and so just recently God has been hitting me with some crazy stuff.  Basically it’s the idea that I can’t go on the rest of my life completely bitter towards a certain person.  I know, “duh” right?  Unfortunately I can be extremely stubborn, which leads to close-mindedness.  I just didn’t see it.  God is pretty good about revealing things and all though…

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.  The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” – Isaiah 43:18-21.

That about says it all.  God is telling me to forget all that has happened.  Forget about how you were hurt.  Forget about how it’s all not fair.  Forget about the reasons you are angry, bitter, or upset.  Forget about the ways that you yourself messed up.  He is trying to do something new!  How could I not see it?  I am being put through all of this for him; it is not about me.  I suffer because I am chosen and so that I may declare his goodness and his provision of living water in the midst of the desert.  Forget.  All.  Else.  Especially everything that your flesh is screaming at you to do.

And that, brothers and sisters, is what takes strength. 

              May I always find it in you, Almighty God.

Chad Smith's Blog

I have chosen a blog entry from Chad Smith to write about.  As I skimmed through his writings, I particularly took notice of his blog over Bernard’s four degrees of love.  I really liked Chad’s comparison of the journey through the four degrees to running a race.  He emphasized the fact that as you advance in your love, it becomes harder.  This is because you eventually have to keep moving forward from loving yourself – the easy part.  When it comes down to the last degree, we finally realize that we’re actually not really good at loving at all.  We can’t run and make it to those last few degrees.  However, we are carried by the love and strength of Christ.  None of it is in our own power.  “It was the very presence of God's love that was driving me forward into more intimate love with Him.”  I really enjoyed Chad’s understanding of progressing in our intimacy with the Lord.

Ignatius of Loyola

The enemy’s one great fear is that his plan be discovered and therefore thwarted.  “…when the enemy tempts a just soul with his wiles and deceits, he wishes and desires that they be received and kept in secret.  When they are revealed to a confessor or some other spiritual person who understands his deceits and evil designs, the enemy is greatly displeased for he knows that he cannot succeed in his evil design once his obvious deceits have been discovered.”  One thing we can do to ensure the enemy has this fear is to ask the Holy Spirit, the great revealer, to open our eyes to the ways the enemy is getting to us.  Once we begin to understand, we start the process of stopping the enemy in his tracks.  Also, we can go to others with our struggles.  As we talk things out, share burdens, and walk with each other, it is easier to realize how the enemy is affecting us and thus easier to work against him.  These are all things that I should probably give more consideration to in my own life.  I must actually sit down and analyze the enemy’s attack plans on my life so that I may retaliate in the power of Christ.

Julian of Norwich

The three things that I most desire from God are as follows: first, I desire with everything in me for him to bring peace, healing and reconciliation within my family.  It has been greatly needed for a few years now.  I know he is working to bring these things about.  Second, I desire a continued deeper intimacy with him, like the kind of relationship where I am constantly learning and growing.  This is something that requires a little effort on my part, though.  I must continue to set aside time to develop my relationship with him.  Third, I desire an opportunity to do something incredibly radical for his name and his kingdom.  I want to be so changed by the intimacy of being in his presence that it gives me direction and a specific purpose that is to accomplish something great, only by his power and mercy.  I know he has good works for each of us to do, but I so badly want to make a huge impact for his name.  I want to truly live in this life, not just make it by.