William Temple

              Recently in my hometown of Mansfield, Texas there was a debate over the developing plans to build a hookah bar.  Although it would be an attraction that would interest a large social group in Mansfield and surrounding cities and have lots of business, it is detrimental to health (more so than smoking regular cigarettes, according to immense amounts of research) and encourages a negative lifestyle.  Churches in the area understood this, and fought to make Christian principles known.  They believed that the institution of a hookah bar was threatening to the well-being of our community.  It exemplified bad stewardship of the resources God has given us, and more importantly, it supported bad stewardship of our bodies.  The Church recognized what William Temple pointed out about the value of human life as established by the Lord and how we should take care of it.

                As a result, churches became more active in stating their principles and how this act would breach them.  Church members became educated about the topic and more equipped to take a stand.  Yet it was all done so lovingly.  It was beautiful to watch the Church carry something out in the correct manner.  It felt like we were truly reshaping the existing order; renewing minds, if you will.  Eventually the plea to build a hookah bar was declined.  In its place, a laundromat was built, providing a much needed service in an area of the community that was struggling without it.

John Calvin

              The world pushes upon us a very individualistic mindset.  Everything is about you, yourself, and your gain.  Worldly people tend to possess a sense of entitlement – the idea that they are entitled to so many things.  They lack the view that everything is the Lord’s in the first place. 

                Because we are pushed to be individualistic, to think about ourselves and the betterment of our lives, we are a largely consumerist culture.  Everything is turned into a product trying to be sold.  People are tricked into thinking they can buy whatever they need to make them happy, pretty, popular, rich, or content.

                And it is widely accepted that all those things are what you need to be successful in life.  It’s the American Dream – live in a nice neighborhood, have a good-looking spouse and children, obtain a high and well-paying status at work, drive a nice car, have other nice possessions, etc.  Everything in our world is geared towards helping you achieve this, assuming that it is exactly what everyone wants and lives for.

                But John Calvin suggests that we deny those selfish desires and gains because we are not our own; therefore we should not be governing our own lives.  We are God’s.  “Let his wisdom and will dominate all our actions,” in the same way Jesus Christ did according to Philippians 2:1-11.  As he looked to the interests of others and submitted himself wholly to God’s will, he gave up his divine rights and his high position of royalty to be made lowly.  He did not look to benefit himself and make his own comfort a priority, because that was not what God had planned for him and he was okay with that.  He trusted the Lord, and therefore obeyed him completely.  He was able to deny himself and lift up those around him.  There is a stark contrast between the attitude and mindset of Christ and that of the world. 

Francis of Assisi and Watchman Nee

              I think one of my main hesitations with evangelism is not wanting to awkwardly introduce the topic of Jesus in conversation.  It seems silly to me sometimes if it’s not natural, like I’m trying too hard or something, which is probably annoying to the person with which I am talking.  And I don’t want to seem annoying or bothersome; I want them to know that I love them.  I understand, though, that there is a balance there between being passive or aggressive.

                Within the past few weeks I have shared the gospel with a few girls on campus who I already had relationships with and they knew that I loved them.  I found it easier to be more on the aggressive side with them.  They knew I was doing it in love. Plus, that kind of talk is sort of expected in the environment of a Christian university.

                I want to be better about sharing the gospel with members of my community, though – outside the context of my Christian university.  I felt challenged by Francis’ immediate obedience.  I always have an urgent, burning desire to go share the love of Christ that I know!  But my words are “I want to go,” not “Let’s go!” like Francis.  I think this is mostly because I don’t even know where to start.  Francis of Assisi trusted the Lord so well – he knew he just needed to go.

                I was very encouraged by Watchman Nee’s writings.  So many of the things he wrote about I feel like the Lord has revealed to me in certain ways, just not in so many words.  I have a beginning foundation to these concepts Watchman Nee talked about, and he explained them in a way that helped me understand them better and make more sense of the things the Lord has already shown me.  Something huge was this idea of simply “meeting God,” and initially coming before the Lord with an honest heart.  God has been weighing this heavily on my heart in recent weeks and the significance of this action.  Watchman Nee helped me see ways in which I can share that with other people.

Jeremy Taylor - Question 2

       I think rule four is easiest for me: “Nurture a love to do good things in secret, concealed from the eyes of others, and therefore not highly esteemed because of them.”  I have never liked for any “good thing” I’ve done to be publicized.  I always felt like attention was wrongly directed to me.  It didn’t make sense to me when I knew the true reason and Motivator of my good work.  So I like to do things quietly, in secret.  There is something special about getting to share that with the only One whose eyes see me.  And I guess this way it doesn’t run the risk of my works being in vain.

Rule fourteen is hard for me a lot of times: “Be content when you see or hear that others are doing well in their jobs and with their income, even when you are not…be content when someone else’s work is approved and yours is rejected.”  I am very much accustomed to success.  I generally do pretty well at most things I do.  And I absolutely hate failure.  I hate the idea of doing something the wrong way or messing up.  So if someone is doing well in a certain area and I’m not, it is hard for me to be content.  It’s not that I’m not happy for them; I’m just not content that they are in that position and I’m not.  I have had to learn the lesson of living in grace so many times, and I’m still learning more about it. 

Jeremy Taylor - Question 1

       Thinking back, I cannot recall a particular time that I was ever completely ashamed of any of these areas in my life.  Concerning birth, I was born into a wonderful family – hardworking, brilliant, interesting, talented – a family I was always proud of (on both sides).  In terms of economic position, the Lord has always chosen to bless me so immensely.  Rarely have I been worried that I or my family would go without the money we needed.  My father is paid well, my mother works long and hard to earn what she does, and I’ve never had trouble with finding a steady job (a pharmacist’s assistant, nanny, camp counselor, volleyball coach, puppy caretaker...none carry a “lowly” status for a highschooler/university student to be ashamed of).  I’ve been blessed with a “head start” of sorts, if you will.  I realize that, and I am grateful for the encouragement.

In Taylor’s writing he also mentions not to be ashamed of your parents.  This may be the one area that I have struggled with.  In my lifetime both of my parents, especially my father, have done very ugly things – things I despise, things I hate, things that are unacceptable on so many levels.  I used to be so ashamed.  My family was supposed to be “Christian”…strong in faith, always involved at church, doing the right things.  When that fell apart, I thought it had a claim on me as well.  I believed it meant that something was wrong with me too, and so I didn’t talk about it.  I hid it as much as possible and avoided it at all costs.  It was prideful.  I couldn’t humble myself and be open to others about it and be vulnerable in that way.  I didn’t possess that “indifference to how others will regard you.”

      Since then, I have learned a lot.  I have come to understand the truth about these circumstances in my life, and how they have helped me grow into a better person rather than hinder me – all by the grace and power of God.  I am now more able to “speak readily” about these things rather than be ashamed.

Madame Guyon

“So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day.”

                Recently the Lord has been teaching me so much about developing the simultaneity of my spiritual life and my everyday life.  The quoted verse above captures this concept so well as does the rest of Psalm 61.

                I really enjoyed this practice of slowly reading and grasping the heart behind scripture.  As I applied it to Psalm 61 I found the Spirit speaking so strongly to me about my current circumstances, and the words of the passage became the words I wanted to express to the Lord.

                Verse 1 implies this is a cry to God, connoting desperation and pleading for him to hear what is so urgent to me.  In a place that felt so remote from his presence and hung hopelessness over my faint head, I asked him to help me rise above it all – to lead me to a place of stability and strength that is higher (verse 2).  He has been my safety and security in the past, another elevated stronghold (“strong tower”) against whatever is against me (verse 3).

                I just want to be where you are, Lord!  Please just let me stay; I don’t want to lose where I am when I am near you!  I come to you humbly, asking that you would cover me wholly with the protection of your wings – that you would guard my heart in this way (verse 4).  You know that that is what I want, for you know all the vows, or commitments, that I have made and all the responsibilities that those hold.  You have given me a heritage to continue, one of fearing your name.  Therefore, I need your presence and protection (verse 5).

                The psalmist prayed for the fidelity of the king, the one who represented the people and the community.  If the king was well, so was the kingdom.  Lord, I ask these things not solely for my sake, but for my community!  Whoever you appoint to lead it or minister to it in any way, whether it is myself or another, bless the ministry!  May it always be of you, through you, by you, or for you.  But again, the careful watch of your steadfast love and faithfulness is so desperately needed (verses 6-7).

                “So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day” (verse 8).  The reality is I have so many commitments (vows) – so many things that fill my schedule and keep me busy.  I was struggling to rise above the mess of my schedule, to see the Lord in everything and to do all for him.  I was separating my spiritual life from my practical, everyday life and in turn I couldn’t find enough time for the spiritual.  I knew that was not what God intended.  I knew there was something more to this. 

                The Lord showed me the beauty of simultaneity…the meshing of my spiritual and everyday lives.  Even as I go about each of my daily commitments – class, meetings, work, church, etc. – I can seek him for strength (with a prayer like Psalm 61) and gratefully sing praises to his name and lift up new songs to him.  That is the word living in me which, God-willing, will affect the community around me as well. 

E. Stanley Jones

              Today conversion is normally understood as a one-time event – a moment in which you make a decision to agree with certain statements of faith and then recite a certain prayer.  Popular religion projects this image of conversion that is shallow and does not penetrate the depths of the soul.  Jones suggests a much more biblical understanding of conversion, one that pushes us to a total experience of discipleship that affects every sphere of our living.

Not only do we receive or obtain the gift from God, but we respond by truly living and building up.  As Jones puts it, “We trust as if the whole thing depended on God and work as if the whole thing depended on us.”  The idea is “receptivity from God and response in work from us.”

Jones believes that a response from us requires certain disciplines to continue attaining our conversion after we have obtained it.  He turns to the biblical example of Jesus and the three foundational habits he exhibited: reading the Word of God, praying in private, and teaching others what we have gathered.  If a convert is not consistently participating in these activities, he or she is not enlarging “the area of [their] conversion, taking in fresh territory every day.”

Thomas Kelly

               Thomas Kelly writes much about an unceasing, inward orientation of the soul.  He believes that such a turning of our souls to the Lord is important because it brings everything in the world into a new light – the Light – and gives a new perspective.  It allows us to “rejudge,”  “recreate,” and respond in “spontaneous, incisive, and simple ways of love and faith.”
              Kelly’s approach is all about inward worship – “quiet, persistent practice in turning all of our being, day and night, in prayer and inward worship and surrender, toward him who calls in the deeps of our souls.”  This will require the development of certain habits.
              “In the early weeks we begin with simple, whispered words…repeat them inwardly, over and over again…longer discipline in this inward prayer will establish more enduring upreachings of praise and submission and relaxed listening in the depths…” 
                And if we lapse, simply breathe a prayer for forgiveness and start again right from where you are; ever return quietly.  As this discipline of inward orientation improves, there develops a meshing and a simultaneity of the outer things and the Inner Light – not just an alternation…”worship undergirding every moment, living prayer, the continuous current and background of all moments of life.” 
              It fuses the inner with the outer, internal spirituality with external application.  It transforms us from the inside out, that all may see him and receive a glimpse of true life and be drawn to it.

William Law

                According to William Law, our faith should have influence in every area of our lives.  The combination of spiritual life with daily life is key.  We cannot simply offer up prayers wholly to God without offering our whole lives up to him as well, and vice versa.  Both are absurd.  Law speaks of what it looks like to be seriously devoted to Christ in all that we do.  To Law, it means being devoted to Christ wholly – not just in occasional prayers.
                I personally have experienced the transforming power of Christ in my whole life as I have given it up wholly to him.  Yes, there are moments when I forget and I still hold on to things that I want or that I can’t seem to let go.  I forget the refuge that the Lord is and I hold back certain parts of my heart (Ps. 62:8). Sometimes these moments last longer than I would like.  But Jesus is faithful to remind me how important it is to fuse everything about myself, my heart, my daily life, daily thoughts and daily actions with my faith and my prayers to him.  And it is in those beautiful moments of devout holiness that my faith influences every area of my life and more people see more of Christ (Heb. 12:14). 

Richard Rolle

                First and foremost, it is possible for an individual who is actively engaged in vocational ministry to be struggling to maintain an intimate relationship with the Lord because he/she is an imperfect being who sins.  It is important to understand we all do this, and can receive grace from the Lord. 
                Rolle highlights the idea that those who are devoted to the Lord begin to struggle with their spiritual walks as they begin to love the things of the world – “physical need and strong human affection obtrude into this warmth, to disturb and quench this flame.”  For a minister, this may look like getting caught up in mindless ministry work, or becoming obsessed with issues that honestly don’t matter.  It happens because priorities get mixed up and the things that the world values become what we value.  Soon we are just a person who knows a lot about God, not one who actually knows him.  We must seek “rather to love God than to amass knowledge.”  After all, “he is not known by argument but by what we do and how we love.”
              This situation is dangerous for a minister.  It is not that the cheering warmth that comes from God’s love and our devotion has been taken from him/her, but it is momentarily absent.  The minister may find his/herself frozen in their walk, unable to grow and therefore barren because they are “missing what [they] have become accustomed to.” 
                This will greatly affect the minister’s family.  When one’s relationship with the Lord is off, all other relationships will be affected as well.  The minister is not in a position to lead the family or pour into them as he/she should.  A lot of potential is lost.
                The minister’s congregation or ministry also suffers.  It is hard to organize or oversee a ministry when you yourself do not feel put together.  The possibility of being viewed as a hypocrite runs the risk of destroying trust between the minister and his/her ministry. 
                To avoid such situations, Rolle suggests that we must “be wholly turned from every earthly thing.”  Be concerned with the things of the Lord, not the things of the world.  Rolle puts it best: “To achieve this, however, they must, first, fly from every worldly honor; they must hate all vainglory and the parade of knowledge.  And then, conditioned by great poverty, through prayer and meditation they can devote themselves to the love of God.”  We must be ministers who pray for such hearts, attitudes, mindsets, and lifestyles.  It is only in the Lord that we can find that kind of transforming power.

Division and Politics in the Church

               There absolutely has to be a point at which you draw the line between cooperation and division in order to protect important doctrines and ministry practices.  There is a balance as well, though.  Humility and respect for others is needed; these characteristics allow one to more easily accept minor differences in beliefs without unnecessary conflict.  However, if a personal belief of a coworker in ministry stands in the way of what the ministry stands for or strives to implement, that is obviously unacceptable. 
                If I have an agenda that I believe is biblically important, I want to do what I can to persuade and convince others to understand what the Spirit has convicted me of, not manipulate others into following.  Politics have such a negative connotation because it’s an area so full of conniving, cunning, deceitful, and manipulative people who will go to ridiculous lengths to promote themselves.  I think there is a purer form of politics to take part in within the church.  This could include “campaigning” if you will – finding creative ways to help others understand your vision so that they might support you. 
              The bottom line is that nothing should be forced.  Our job is to stand for what the Spirit convicts us of and leave the rest up to him.  We should never take matters into our own hands.  Simply be open to what the Lord wants you to do in each situation – there’s a good chance that he will ask you to respond with love, humility, respect, and gentleness, but still with enough sternness to express a bold passion and commitment.  If we will remain faithfully obedient to him rather than assuming there is something we can do about it, he will bless that and take care of the rest.
                I’m not sure if anything I just wrote makes much sense to anyone else, but I know that’s how I feel about it and what I’ve gathered from past instances in church life.

Baptist History Reflection

               In 1612, Thomas Helwys returned from Amsterdam and planted the first Baptist church in England.  It was here that the first document in English was written that argued for full religious freedom for all individuals.  This is a belief that Baptists have long stood by and is still very important to emphasize today.  Religion/spirituality should not be forced upon anyone.  The ability to show love instead of force it and to be inviting in that way requires much humility and respect for others.  Even if people do not agree with us as Baptists, they must make their own decisions and we are to respect them and love them through it all.  What kind of a relationship is a forced one, anyway?  God wants us to choose him.  We want others to choose him also.
              The first national Baptist convention was the Triennial Convention which was formed in the early 18th century solely to help with international missions.  Basically, the primary driving force for organization in Baptist life has been the cause of missions.  Johann Gerhard Oncken explained it once as “every Baptist, a missionary.”  Such an emphasis on missions is just as important today.  If, as Baptists, we truly believe what we say we believe, then it is inevitable that we highlight the cause of missions.  Each person has the ability to accept the Lord as their own personal Savior, and so we must go tell each person about him!  It has been our focus for years and should continue to be our focus in a world with numerous unreached peoples.

George Buttrick

                In my own personal prayer life, I am more likely to be too formless.  I often spend my time conversing and convening with the Lord over coffee, sitting on my bed, having casual conversation about my day or asking him questions.  However, it is during some of those times that I have experienced his overwhelming greatness in the most magnified ways.  But, if I let it become too routine, it often loses its significance.  I’ll sit down on my bed with journal and Bible in hand only to say a quick prayer and become distracted by something else.  As I actually talk with him, conversation may become so casual that I get sidetracked and aimlessly talk and think about other, less pertinent things.  These things may not happen often, but they do happen and I would certainly hate for them to become habit.
              As I think about how to avoid informality, I am considering the idea of physical position.  There is something so formless about reclining on some pillows, occasionally sipping coffee from a mug, just chatting away.  What if during my personal prayer time I spent at least a portion of it on my knees before a Holy God?  Yes, this is something that I practice, but not often enough.  It serves as a physical, practical reminder that He is so deserving of respect, honor and glory…and I am not.  Who am I to have a casual conversation with him?  Sometimes I could use some reminding of my place.  As I begin this action, it would help develop many other aspects of my prayer life because it brings on a different sort of attitude altogether – one of humility, reverence, and recognition of an Almighty God.

Sadhu Sundar Singh

              In general, whenever I have a decent amount of down time I hope to not waste it on stupid things – things like facebook or spending too much time getting ready or watching pointless tv shows – but rather spend that time being productive, even if it is just a little productive...because I know that pleases the Lord much more so than being lazy or being a busybody.  I’m usually pretty good about that, but sometimes I find myself getting caught up in it.  I guess it comes down to something Sundar said: “We ought to make the best possible use of God-given opportunities and should not waste our precious time by neglect or carelessness.  Many people say: there is plenty of time to do this or that; don’t worry.  But they do not realize that if they do not make good use of this short time, the habit formed now will be so ingrained that when more time is given to us, this habit will become our second nature and we shall waste that time also.”  I do not want to form a habit of lazy procrastination!  It’s about practicing good time management with the little time I have now, because trust me, I only have a little bit of down time!
                So how do I begin a good habit of managing my time well and using it effectively?  I think I should just start asking myself questions like “what can I do to please the Lord with the down time I have for the next hour?”  Kind of an unusual thing to start doing, but I like the idea of not using every waking moment I have to please myself and do what I want.  Because that’s just ridiculous.  But that’s what most of us do anyway…
                More specifically, when it comes to schoolwork I wish I managed my time so much more wisely!  It’s not like I don’t know how, I just don’t do it – again, because I want to do what I want to do on my own time.  I often think that maybe I should start on an assignment (at least start on it) the day I receive it, instead of thinking “there is plenty of time to do this or that; don’t worry.”  I feel like it would help me get a head start, and when it comes down to the due date I won’t be as rushed, won’t stay up as late, etc. – a much more effective use of my time.
                The problem with all this is being motivated to actually do all these things.  It’s a discipline, for sure.  It’s really a spiritual discipline – denying yourself and what you want to do in order to do what pleases the Lord…being a good steward of the time God gives you on this earth.  And I suppose that’s where we are to look for everything we need – the Lord!  He will be the source of my motivation and willpower to actually implement some of these things.  Because ultimately I’m doing it all for him anyway…Col. 3:23.  Interesting way to think about my time…

Jonathan Edwards

               I have to admit – I had a bit of trouble fully grasping the concepts in Jonathan Edwards’ writing, but I think I can still reflect accordingly. My spiritual passion for Christ affects absolutely everything I do. Obviously that includes my studies here at ETBU. I constantly refer to Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” I do not work at my studies for myself, my parents, my professors, or anyone else. It is completely for the Lord, so that he can use me and my education however he wills. Viewing it as working for the Lord gives my studies so much more purpose and motivation. I strive to fulfill my potential, to be the best I can in every area of life because it pleases the Lord, and that is what I passionately desire to do.
               At the same time, my studies have a similar effect on my walk with Christ. As I learn and grow in intellectual areas, wisdom and knowledge abound. I am pushed to seek the Lord more effectively. I become filled with new ideas, thoughts, lessons…and I want more! I want to know what the Lord thinks about those things. I become curious to find out how he will use the lesson I learned in class the other day to shape me or even the message from the speaker in chapel. I become passionate about understanding the things of the Lord in relation to what I am studying. It truly helps develop a spiritual passion for Christ within me as all these things slowly form my belief system and enlighten me to what God has for me to do in his kingdom. It’s cool to see how God absolutely uses our intellectual pursuits to prepare us for his work and to give us passion and desire for him. 

Henri J. M. Nouwen

I really enjoyed this particular experience of solitude, although I encountered some challenges that Henri Nouwen mentioned in his writing. As I began my period of solitary prayer, I felt bombarded by a lot of inner chaos. I realized that for about the past week I have been neglecting a decently active prayer life. As a result, my thoughts and feelings were much more cluttered, disorganized, and unattended to.  Worries and anxieties of mine clouded my mind. It was hard to seek the Lord in the midst of those things, to tell those distractions that they were not welcome. But then, in my solitude – the place where I am finally in the right position to give things up to the Lord, I understood something else that Nouwen wrote about. The struggling I encountered in my solitude became the way to hope, “because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God’s healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings.” There was such an overwhelming feeling of peace and relief. This is something I have absolutely experienced with the Lord before, but when you don’t consistently talk to him about your issues and the things that consume your mind, you lose sight of that. Becoming in touch with the hopeful presence of God in the midst of chaos in my life prepared me so well for worship. I could actually focus on him and simply lifting his name higher. I prayed these things over the rest of the congregation as well. It was so much easier to sense the Spirit there, to see what he was doing, and to understand how to be a part of it. I enjoyed this practice of solitude before worship, and will probably continue a variation of it before times of worship in the future (as well as in my own personal prayer life)!

John of the Cross

In my personal life right now, I feel most in need of strength.  John of the Cross wrote of many things with which I am all too familiar.  These include becoming very angry because I am called to do what my flesh doesn’t believe I need, losing interest in God because I measure him according to my circumstances and not vice versa, and abandoning certain spiritual exercises because no spiritual consolation is yielded.  Interestingly enough, each of these things only applied to one area of my life: my family. 

In every other area of my life I would fully proclaim God’s power, strength, and ability to do anything.  When it came to my family though, I felt completely overwhelmed, defeated, and discouraged.  I would completely underestimate the Lord and his omnipotence.  I practically gave up on continually praying for my family, being loving towards them, or seeking any kind of reconciliation. 

A lot had happened…lots of pain, hurt, and suffering.  Relationships were essentially mangled and just left for dead.  There was bitterness, resentment, hatred, and anger almost everywhere I turned while at home.  It was near impossible to have hope, and so I gave up; just pushed it all aside and ignored it. 

Well, of course God wasn’t going to sit around and let that happen.  He intended for all of it to make me grow, and so just recently God has been hitting me with some crazy stuff.  Basically it’s the idea that I can’t go on the rest of my life completely bitter towards a certain person.  I know, “duh” right?  Unfortunately I can be extremely stubborn, which leads to close-mindedness.  I just didn’t see it.  God is pretty good about revealing things and all though…

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.  The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” – Isaiah 43:18-21.

That about says it all.  God is telling me to forget all that has happened.  Forget about how you were hurt.  Forget about how it’s all not fair.  Forget about the reasons you are angry, bitter, or upset.  Forget about the ways that you yourself messed up.  He is trying to do something new!  How could I not see it?  I am being put through all of this for him; it is not about me.  I suffer because I am chosen and so that I may declare his goodness and his provision of living water in the midst of the desert.  Forget.  All.  Else.  Especially everything that your flesh is screaming at you to do.

And that, brothers and sisters, is what takes strength. 

              May I always find it in you, Almighty God.

Chad Smith's Blog

I have chosen a blog entry from Chad Smith to write about.  As I skimmed through his writings, I particularly took notice of his blog over Bernard’s four degrees of love.  I really liked Chad’s comparison of the journey through the four degrees to running a race.  He emphasized the fact that as you advance in your love, it becomes harder.  This is because you eventually have to keep moving forward from loving yourself – the easy part.  When it comes down to the last degree, we finally realize that we’re actually not really good at loving at all.  We can’t run and make it to those last few degrees.  However, we are carried by the love and strength of Christ.  None of it is in our own power.  “It was the very presence of God's love that was driving me forward into more intimate love with Him.”  I really enjoyed Chad’s understanding of progressing in our intimacy with the Lord.

Ignatius of Loyola

The enemy’s one great fear is that his plan be discovered and therefore thwarted.  “…when the enemy tempts a just soul with his wiles and deceits, he wishes and desires that they be received and kept in secret.  When they are revealed to a confessor or some other spiritual person who understands his deceits and evil designs, the enemy is greatly displeased for he knows that he cannot succeed in his evil design once his obvious deceits have been discovered.”  One thing we can do to ensure the enemy has this fear is to ask the Holy Spirit, the great revealer, to open our eyes to the ways the enemy is getting to us.  Once we begin to understand, we start the process of stopping the enemy in his tracks.  Also, we can go to others with our struggles.  As we talk things out, share burdens, and walk with each other, it is easier to realize how the enemy is affecting us and thus easier to work against him.  These are all things that I should probably give more consideration to in my own life.  I must actually sit down and analyze the enemy’s attack plans on my life so that I may retaliate in the power of Christ.

Julian of Norwich

The three things that I most desire from God are as follows: first, I desire with everything in me for him to bring peace, healing and reconciliation within my family.  It has been greatly needed for a few years now.  I know he is working to bring these things about.  Second, I desire a continued deeper intimacy with him, like the kind of relationship where I am constantly learning and growing.  This is something that requires a little effort on my part, though.  I must continue to set aside time to develop my relationship with him.  Third, I desire an opportunity to do something incredibly radical for his name and his kingdom.  I want to be so changed by the intimacy of being in his presence that it gives me direction and a specific purpose that is to accomplish something great, only by his power and mercy.  I know he has good works for each of us to do, but I so badly want to make a huge impact for his name.  I want to truly live in this life, not just make it by. 

Bernard of Clairvaux

Once I came to realize that without God I can do nothing, it pushed me to accept his love.  I accepted his love for my own sake and turned to his loving care when I needed it.  Yes, selfish…but that is how it begins.  The beauty of God’s love is that it makes you grow.  And so eventually I began to see God’s grace as he protected me in each of my desolate situations, and it changed my heart.  I began to love God not just for his help, but simply for who he is – a beautiful, gracious rescuer.  He is so sweet and satisfying.  I began to enjoy him and his presence.  I grew to love the same things he loves.  I now love him for his own sake and strive to please him in loving others with his love.  At times I fall back into my selfish ways and forget about the instances in which I have experienced this degree of love.  Nonetheless, I have experienced it and he continually reminds me of it when I need reminding.  It is from those instances that I mature in this love.  With all this being said, I anxiously await the day that I will stand before God wholly complete, totally united with him.  We will be of one mind and one spirit.  I will not have to tend to my body’s immediate needs, but will attend to God completely and be mindful of his justice alone.  I will finally be able to truly love myself, not for my own sake, but for God’s.

Dallas Willard - Question 2

“If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.  For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”  There are a few choice sins that I have had quite a struggle with.  Everyone struggles with something.  This verse gives the best advice possible.  Rather than let something that may cause more temptation lurk around you, do away with it completely.  Let there be not even a hint of immorality.  Otherwise, you are much more susceptible to falling back into sin and separating yourself from the Lord.

                “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.”  We all have people in our lives that have wronged us.  There are people that we may not be too fond of.  Yet we are called to love these people anyway.  If we do not, and only love those who are easy to love, we are no better than “tax collectors.”  Even those who do not follow Christ love the people whose company they enjoy or those that treat them well.  We would look just like the rest of the world, and therefore ruin our witness to the lost around us.

Dallas Willard - Question 1

1.       Let your light shine before others.

2.       Be reconciled to your brother before you offer your gift.

3.       Come to terms quickly with your accuser.

4.       If something causes you to sin, get rid of it.

5.       Do not swear on anything.

6.       Do not resist the one who is evil, but turn the other cheek.

7.       Give to the one who begs from you.

8.       Love your enemies.

9.       Pray for those who persecute you.

10.   Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.

C.S. Lewis - Question 2

My home church is First Baptist Church of Mansfield, Texas.   A few years ago some leaders in the church realized the need for discipleship among the men in the area.  As a result, a weekend-long retreat known as “Man Up” was created.  This is a time once a year when men all around the Mansfield area gather and do “manly things.”  But there are also times of deep Bible study, older men investing in younger men, worship, teaching, testimonies, etc.  Each activity is based on making the participants men after God’s heart – little Christs – so that they might leave that place and be able to do the same for others.  It draws men in, and then unleashes them back out.  It has proved to be a very effective ministry with a larger impact than we ever could have imagined.

C.S. Lewis - Question 1

I relate very well to Lewis’ words when he wrote “For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call ‘ourselves,’ to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be ‘good.’  We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way – centered on money or pleasure or ambition – and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly.”  This is what I find so difficult about giving my all to God: that it is impossible to live both for Him and for myself.  Why can’t I do both?  I can be stubborn sometimes, so I tried living like this for a while and finally realized it didn’t work.  I tried to be “good” and hoped that after I accomplished whatever good was demanded of me that my “poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes.”  There were times when I felt tired of trying to be good and times that I wondered why I wasn’t getting enough credit for being good.  I have come a long way since then, but sometimes I still see little glimpses of that same living-for-two-masters attitude seeping in.  It can be difficult for me to completely stamp that out.